I have no words really. I mean, I do have words, but it took me awhile to write this very beginning. Like, where do I begin? How do I begin?
So let’s start with just life in general. University. I’m currently in the exam period. I have two more to go, so wish me luck (and only between you and me, I really need it, so I’d appreciate it very much in forms of GIFs or cute anecdotes). I honestly don’t know how I survived semester 1. This semester has been hectic, but I’ve loved the readings, especially in my Sociology class. However, I just don’t feel like learning right now. Maybe it’s a built up of things, like that encounter with racism in one of my classes that really threw me off from the whole course. Or maybe it’s moving out of the nest and renting out a room in the city. I don’t know what happened this semester. All I know is that it’s been great, but not that great to the extent I’d want to brag about it. I’m just to inside my head I guess. Or maybe I’m not inside it at all? Who knows, I just don’t feel like me this week. I’ve avoided Instagram like the plague, I’ve neglected my emails and responsibilities as if I have none and I’ve showed my beautiful voice a couple of times on twitter but I haven’t been as active as I usually am. To top it all off, I haven’t read a book this week either, something that comes easy to me like breathing.
Now, I’m in this place where, I’m not in constant panic persay, but paranoia. Or something similar to that. My english is terrible, so if you can understand where I’m coming from, cool, if not, I’m going into detail in a sec. *a sec*. Okay sweet. We all know about the election. The one that affects the whole world and right now we have a elect-president. The guy the same hue as the background colour of the blogger icon. The guy with the ratty hair that probably is just a knit collection of dog fur. The guy who thought it was hilarious to tell fellow ‘oppressed’ mediocre white men that you should “Grab her by the pussy”. The guy who I will never call the President of the most influential country in the world because a
man excuse of a man like him doesn’t deserve a title like that. There’s already so much hate towards minorities and him becoming the elect-president has just told those who quietly had the same beliefs as him, to shout them at the top of their lungs. To treat everyone who isn’t white cis and hetero like they’re not worthy of being treated as a fellow human being. As if we need a reason to live, exist.
The thought of him being the President eventually terrifies me. What does this say to people all around the world? That sexual offenders can get away with anything and become the most powerful person in the world? There’s so many questions I’d like to ask but some of the answers terrify me. This whole election was exhausting and it was from there that I knew I needed to take care of myself.
Self-Care is so important, especially at this moment in time. We have racists seeking out targets. The KKK walking around. Kids being told to sit at the back of the bus like old times. ‘Friends’ playing ‘jokes’ and building a wall in their roomates room. People actively seeking out muslim girls wearing their Hijabs and ripping them off. Men, telling the internet, that they’re going to seek out women to harass and this all happened on Day 1. I’m not American, but this president-elect has affected the whole world. So if you feel like this is too much, I got you. I’ve got you forever. You are not alone. If you ever feel like it’s too much and you want the world to swallow you up, know this. You are important. You are loved. You are the stars in the sky, bright and burning. You are the moon, you guide the way in the dark with your light. You are a rose, rich in beauty and those who you do not tolerate get the thorns and even then, you are still beautiful and thriving. You are the seasons, each one I eagerly wait to hear, to feel, to know that we are still moving forward. You are the rain, soft and loud with joy. You are the lightening, a beam of strength, a thunderous soul that will never give up. You are a warrior, a dreamer, a doer and a person who deserves to live.
So here are a few self-care things I’d like to share: (these are only a handful and they may work for you or may not. We are all different and that is totally okay.)
I cling onto music like a raft. It anchors me, it frees me, it saves me. I don’t have a specific taste in music. If I could describe it it’d be “world view” type of taste in music. I don’t prefer one to another. I just love hearing music that sounds different, sounds unique and out of place in specific playlists. On that note, here are some playlists. I hope you like the music. I’d also love some recommendations of playlists if you already have some that you listen to.
UPDATE: So I’m just putting my playlist together on spotify and I just realised that I can’t share some of the actual songs I listen too. So no Polynesian songs for the soul. So I have list of artists and songs I like. Brown Girl is my favourite song. I listen to it as much a possible. But going quickly off topic just listen to Isa Lei, it’s a Fijian song. Honestly the best. Also click here for the best song that everyone I know would gladly jam to.
I honestly love this. I highly recommend finger painting. Also travelling on the bus and going to a cafe to draw and drink coffee is amazing. If you’re a budding author, writing in quiet corners of a library is my favourite. You can do and be anything by painting, drawing and creating. It frees the soul from negativity in my opinion. It gives you that little peace of mind.
This is a must. Dance like no one’s looking, dance like you must win at it, dance with people and dance till you laugh and cry with friends. Dance in private, to a playlist of your choosing in your bedroom, volume way up high or dance in public, headphones on, dance moves out becoming contagious to passer bys.
I know this is hard at the moment for the majority of us but asking people if they’re okay or asking yourself, are you okay, really helps. Talking with friends and having each others backs is so very helpful. It takes your mind from that place it was in and sparks that energy you really needed. That light that never really faded.
In all the chaos inside my head, making lists and following through with them makes me happy. It makes my soul happy, the very building blocks of my whole being tingle with the sensation of joy. Even studying or learning something that I’ve never thought I wanted to learn. Plus it gives me solace knowing I have great stationary to make these lists and notes for studying.
The last self-care tip I’d like to share is, “Treat yo’self”. This can be by pampering yourself, buying a book, buying a bath bomb and using it, colouring a colouring book and so much more. I highly recommend buying yourself a book (obviously, you’re on The Aus. Library) and specifically a book that is diverse! Check out the #ownvoices hashtag on twitter to find yourself some great books or #diversitydecbingo where myself and a couple of friends are recommending books left, right and centre. I have recently treated myself with a copy of The Sun is Also a Star and can’t wait to read it. I also scored an ARC of Our Chemical Hearts and it’s my treat after exams.
So I hope this helps someone else. I hope it gives someone peace. But also, I hope it gives someone strength to fight, to never give up, because we need this, more than ever, the will to say this isn’t good enough.
Eventually I’ll go back into my usual blogging mode and be taking and posting photos on Instagram. But for now, I’m chilling. I’m taking care of myself and lending a helping hand to those who also need it. I don’t need to apologise for taking time for myself, you don’t have to too.